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If you’ve served in the U.S. military, you probably know at least one fellow service member or veteran who is extremely motivated, or “moto” – freakishly enthusiastic about their military service, usually at the expense of their common sense.
They’re the definition of gung-ho, someone who makes the military a part of their identity and is maybe even a bit belligerent about it at times. They are often the obnoxious geardo or knife guy in your unit, the overzealous lieutenant fresh out of a service academy, the airman who volunteers for everything – and, at times, the source of an update to the safety brief when their excitement inevitably boils over into bad decisions. In other words, they are the backbone of the U.S. military, and they deserve your thanks for their service.
So what do you get for this uniquely batsh– … uh, intense person in your life? Probably something equally intense, unless you want to spring for field gear they’ll actually use. Below, you’ll find a list of potential gifts sure to satisfy the most moto person you know – or, you know, yourself.
.50 BMG Bottle Opener
Crack a cold one with a cool, metallic reminder that you do war stuff. If that’s too big and unwieldy, the "little green Army men" keychain opener is a good alternative.
Claymore Bluetooth Speaker
The sound quality will blow you away.
Challenge Coin Display Case
If your moto friend is anything like mine, you just know he has a ton of challenge coins floating around.
.308 Rocks Glass
The perfect vessel for your favorite veteran-made whiskey (we recommend Hooten Young American Whiskey from retired Army Master Sgt. Norm Hooten of Operation Gothic Serpent fame).
“Battles Map by Map”
What’s this? A freaking book?! This isn’t just any book; it’s a visual exploration of 80 maps detailing famous battles from ancient, medieval and modern times. It’s the perfect coffee table piece for even the most unfancy of friends – assuming they even own a coffee table.
AR Decanter
This is probably the only instance where alcohol and firearms actually mix. And yes, there’s an AK-pattern version available as well.
US Military Stoneware Coffee Mugs
These are available for the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force and even the Coast Guard (sorry, Space Force). Unfortunately, you are only allowed to drink Black Rifle coffee out of it.
GrowlerWerks Personal Keg
You know, for beer.
Patriotic Flask
You know, for liquor.
DD-214 Candle
This purportedly “smells like freedom,” so we’ll assume that means cordite and burning plastic.
DD-214 Woobie
Why settle for the smell of freedom when you can literally wrap yourself in it?
Gerber Multitool
Everyone in uniform could use an extra multitool, and Military.com readers tend to prefer Gerber over Leatherman. Just don’t fall for some cheap dreck at the base exchange.
Darn Tough Socks
Now, socks may sound like a lame gift, but Darn Tough is beloved among U.S. service members as the most comfortable, durable and long-lasting option for a military environment.
Tactical Koozie
For when you have a bender at 5 but have to fight ISIS at 10.
Ka-Bar US Marine Corps Fighting Knife
Perfect for the knife guy in your unit, if he doesn’t already have one (there’s also our list of the best pocket knives to choose from).
Casio G-Shock
Because nothing says “I served in the Global War on Terror” like the (un)official watch of the post-9/11 forever wars.
Tactical Pen
Are tactical pens bullshit? Not necessarily.
Silkies Ranger Panties
Perfect for the bodybuilder squadmate who can flip a truck but is considered “obese” due to his BMI.
Mystery Ranch Hip Monkey Fanny Pack
Don’t laugh, tactical fanny packs are absolutely a thing. Besides, if it’s good enough for U.S. special operations forces, it’s good enough for you.
The General’s Hot Sauce
Tabasco may have been a fixture of every US military conflict since World War II, but The General’s Hot Sauce is actually worth trying.
Pool Punisher Inflatable Tank
Cavalry tested and cavalry approved.
Nerf Halo MA40 Motorized Dart Blaster
All you need is an armed Cybertruck in a Warthog wrap and you’re all set.
Tactical Stocking
Just in time for the War on Christmas.
Napalm Bar Soap
If anything can be tactical, why not cleanliness? See also: Dude Wipes.
Angry Veteran T-Shirt
Please do not actually buy this.
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