As you exit the military, and begin (or resume) your civilian career, you’re likely hearing about the importance of networking. Having a vibrant and deep network of contacts who know you, understand what you offer and see you as credible is critical to finding a job and growing your career. These are the contacts you will intentionally pursue professional relationships with to share resources, support each other, curate mutual career opportunities and sponsor each other in career growth.
One of the most important parts of networking is building and maintaining trust. As a verb, the Oxford Dictionary defines trust as to “believe in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of” someone. When we trust someone, we advocate, support and build them up, we want to see them fulfill their goals, we believe that what we see is genuine, and we can share confidential information with them with the belief that they will hold our secrets.
In networking, there will be times you’ll want to confide in your network contacts about things that frighten, confuse or frustrate you. You may find yourself facing an important decision (such as which job offer to accept or when to let your boss know you’re quitting) and trusting that your network contacts will give you guidance that is best for you (and not for some alternative motive) is very important. You’ll also share good news and great opportunities with the people in your network who you trust and want to support.
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How We Establish Trust
Trust is earned through repetitive actions that validate your stated beliefs and values. When you tell someone in your network that you represent and hold dear the value of honesty, then they will expect to hear you speak honestly when challenged or when asked to weigh in.
Trust is earned over time by the proof that you live your values (or “walk the talk”). When you tell me that you believe everyone in the meeting should be heard from and seen, yet you continue to only speak to a select few, your values and what I see are not connected.
Trust is a precious quality that, once established, should be maintained. While most people will forgive occasional missteps and mistakes, breaking trust is very hard to repair.
How Trust Gets Broken
When your actions and communication don’t align with who you profess to be and what you say you stand for, trust breaks. For example, if I trust you to keep my frustration with my boss confidential, but I later hear that you shared my feelings with someone else, I feel betrayed. I will likely be less forthcoming with my private thoughts and may stay more guarded around you for the rest of our professional relationship.
The risk here (to you) is that I may withhold sharing something important or meaningful with you because of this broken trust.
Putting Trust at the Forefront
When you see or hear that someone you know professionally trusts you, consider that a gift you have earned. Professionally, their trust in you will lead them to advocate when you’re not around to defend or represent yourself. They will speak highly of you when you aren’t aware, and they’ll think of you when a great opportunity presents itself. Your network has then become a strong and active sales force for your personal brand and career.
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