How do you measure success? Sometimes, it is really hard to see it, let alone measure it. Let’s start with defining it. Merriam-Webster.com defines success as "a decree or measure of succeeding, a favorable or desired outcome or the attainment of wealth, favor or eminence."
What about that rule where you can use the word to define it? I think that the dictionary's definition of success is awfully flat and unsatisfactory, since it includes the word succeeding in the definition. So let’s look at the definition of succeed, skipping the one that applies to vice presidents and princesses. "To turn out well, to attain a desired object or end." Oh, that sounds better.
Sometimes, it is hard to see that you ARE succeeding, when it feels like you are getting nowhere.
For me, this is a huge problem while my husband is deployed, and I think I'm not alone. During "the bad deployment" (as I have named it in my head), I had three children. The oldest was three, and I was pregnant. I had to seriously reevaluate my definition of success. My vision of a tidy house, with immaculate, stylish children playing quietly while I whipped up amazing meals -- um, no. The reality was that, as long as everyone was fed and clothed when leaving the house, the day was a success. (And no one called Child Protective Services. Can't forget that.)
Once you've established a bare minimum for success, you can really start to fly. Doing laundry, getting out of the house, (gasp!) taking a shower. Move up to really big stuff, like a clean living room, or starting and finishing a project. The sky is the limit!
I don't mean to say that we shouldn't do our best when our spouses are deployed, or even when they are home. However, there is a limit to what we are able to accomplish at any given stage of our lives. Beating yourself up because you can't do everything is not good for you, or for anyone who needs to be around you.
So, to all my friends, imaginary friends and someday-to-be friends who are struggling right now: What is truly the most important thing that you need to do each day? I bet you are already doing it. And that, my friend, is success.
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